EPIPHANY

By Amy Scollard

What if I did it?

Stepped out. 

Right now
Into the blue speckled with brown and grey
Like walking onto a map
Would I feel anything? I
won’t know unless I do it
Is that a reason to do it?
Just to have that feeling... for a moment
To know that I had that feeling, that sensation
Of falling
Endlessly
I feel a breeze catch on my shoulder and my hands twitch

That was an urge
I should have gone with it...that breeze
That would have made it easier, a fluid motion
No one was here to tell me I couldn’t

No one

That thought comforts me and scares me

I can do what I want

Someone should be here though

I think of them

Everyone

I soften thinking of them

I want someone to be here

Not to do anything

Just to see

But no one is here

I’m stuck

Stuck

Trapped in an in between

I get that urge again and a rush fills my body all the way to my head where it warms my ears and my eyes go fuzzy

Not tears though Just unfocused
I should focus more

I should take this in
This moment
Before I feel
I wish someone was here

Just to see

Amy Scollard is a second year Drama and Theatre Studies student at Trinity College Dublin. She is mainly interested in movement based theatre and set design. She loves experimental art forms that question limits and boundaries. 

Epiphany was written during the first lockdown in March 2020. It is a speculative thought process about teetering on the edge and the quest for feeling.